U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
