Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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