look no pants
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize