I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
