So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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