You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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