I'm gonna have a badass scar
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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