My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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