Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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