just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
