so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
