I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
