Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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