New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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