I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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