just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
