I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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