I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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