The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
