yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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