So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
