so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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