R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
