that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
