i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
