i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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