Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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