She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
