I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
nutella sex= disaster
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
