There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
