The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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