Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I just want nice things and good sex
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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