That's intense
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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