Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
