just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
