No subtext here. People are naked.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
