It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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