I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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