Where did you get a picture of my penis
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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