I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
