So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
