I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
