Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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