I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
