I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
