sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the day after is always just damage control
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
