Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
please come you make the beer taste better
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
