I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He felt like a one man threesome
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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