i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
