too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
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