i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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