He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It's just like the Real World with babies
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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