I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
