i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
