My room smells like vodka and shame
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
