You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
