I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize